1 00:00:49,033 --> 00:00:51,000 Yes, General Burkhalter. 2 00:00:51,033 --> 00:00:53,567 Top secret? 3 00:00:53,601 --> 00:00:57,868 Sir, I want you to know how much I appreciate your trust in me. 4 00:00:57,901 --> 00:01:00,934 Oh, you had no other choice. I see. 5 00:01:00,968 --> 00:01:03,834 Yes, sir, I'm alone. 6 00:01:03,868 --> 00:01:08,033 General Burkhalter, I can assure you that I am alone. 7 00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:10,467 Yes, sir, I'll check it right away. 8 00:01:18,334 --> 00:01:21,234 Everything is all right, Herr General. 9 00:01:21,267 --> 00:01:22,467 No one is here. 10 00:01:22,501 --> 00:01:25,400 Oh, yes, sir, that is important. 11 00:01:25,434 --> 00:01:26,968 I can see that... 12 00:01:28,334 --> 00:01:29,868 Hey, Kinch, what's wrong with this thing? 13 00:01:29,901 --> 00:01:31,767 I don't know. 14 00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:34,434 Just when Klink was about to spill the top secret. 15 00:01:34,567 --> 00:01:36,567 Looks okay here. 16 00:01:37,567 --> 00:01:38,801 Schultz is coming. 17 00:01:38,834 --> 00:01:39,801 Keep him busy. 18 00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:42,300 Right. 19 00:01:42,334 --> 00:01:43,634 See if you can check that out, huh? 20 00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:45,100 Right. 21 00:01:46,501 --> 00:01:48,133 Schultz is coming. 22 00:01:48,167 --> 00:01:49,667 Barrack inspection! 23 00:01:49,701 --> 00:01:50,667 All right, enough of this rubbish. 24 00:01:50,701 --> 00:01:51,868 Come along, gentlemen. 25 00:01:51,901 --> 00:01:54,434 Time to make your fortunes and minimize your losses. 26 00:01:54,467 --> 00:01:56,000 What about you, LeBeau? 27 00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,734 No, well, you already owe me three million francs. 28 00:01:57,767 --> 00:01:58,734 I don't want to play. 29 00:01:58,767 --> 00:02:00,400 All right, Carter, you have a go. 30 00:02:00,434 --> 00:02:01,901 No. You're into me for $212,000. 31 00:02:01,934 --> 00:02:03,801 You're a lot of dirty money-grubbers, 32 00:02:03,834 --> 00:02:04,834 that's what you are. 33 00:02:04,868 --> 00:02:06,701 Now come along gentlemen, watch this. 34 00:02:06,734 --> 00:02:07,934 Does the hand deceive the eye? 35 00:02:07,968 --> 00:02:09,100 Where could it possibly be? 36 00:02:09,133 --> 00:02:11,767 Let's keep our eye on it at all times. 37 00:02:11,801 --> 00:02:13,701 Who'll make a wager? 38 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,634 All right, this one. 39 00:02:18,167 --> 00:02:19,133 There it is. 40 00:02:19,167 --> 00:02:20,234 Come on, now, 41 00:02:20,267 --> 00:02:21,467 where could it possibly be? 42 00:02:21,501 --> 00:02:22,501 Come on, anybody else? 43 00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:23,634 All right, I'll try. 44 00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:24,667 There it is. 45 00:02:24,701 --> 00:02:25,400 It isn't, mate. 46 00:02:25,434 --> 00:02:26,801 Very good, though, very good. 47 00:02:26,834 --> 00:02:28,133 There it is, you see that? 48 00:02:28,167 --> 00:02:29,534 Now, let's have another try. 49 00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:31,801 This is the easiest thing in the world, right? 50 00:02:31,834 --> 00:02:33,267 You see it? Well, where is it? 51 00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:34,367 I see it. It's right under... 52 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:35,434 No, no! 53 00:02:35,467 --> 00:02:37,934 No... it is under 54 00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:39,000 this one. 55 00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:40,200 Schultz is right, 56 00:02:40,267 --> 00:02:41,567 and you're wrong. 57 00:02:41,601 --> 00:02:43,267 Very good, very good. 58 00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:44,734 Let's do it again. 59 00:02:44,767 --> 00:02:46,033 It's a game of chance, you know. 60 00:02:46,067 --> 00:02:47,434 I'll take a chance. 61 00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:49,400 Yes? 62 00:02:49,434 --> 00:02:52,734 Four marks: eins, zwei, drei, vier, ja? 63 00:02:52,767 --> 00:02:54,434 Well, all right, but I must warn you, 64 00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:55,634 I've been very, very unlucky. 65 00:02:55,667 --> 00:02:57,033 Yeah, you owe me three million francs. 66 00:02:57,067 --> 00:02:59,167 With me, it's strictly cash. 67 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,033 Oh, I wouldn't have it any other way. 68 00:03:01,067 --> 00:03:02,834 Here we go then. Right. 69 00:03:02,868 --> 00:03:03,634 Which one? 70 00:03:06,634 --> 00:03:07,601 That one? 71 00:03:07,634 --> 00:03:08,534 No... no... no. 72 00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:12,601 You want this one? No, no, no, no, no. 73 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,000 Now which one do you want? You've named them all. 74 00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,567 That one? 75 00:03:22,601 --> 00:03:23,868 Wrong! 76 00:03:36,067 --> 00:03:37,601 There it is. 77 00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,367 Achtung. 78 00:03:41,801 --> 00:03:43,734 Mm-hmm. What do we have here? 79 00:03:43,767 --> 00:03:44,934 It's a game, sir. 80 00:03:44,968 --> 00:03:46,667 To be exact, the shell game. 81 00:03:46,701 --> 00:03:48,367 I've heard of it before. 82 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,667 Schultz, did you see that these men were gambling? 83 00:03:52,868 --> 00:03:54,267 Never mind, Schultz. 84 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,534 You can't see over your stomach. 85 00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:57,601 Colonel Hogan. 86 00:03:57,634 --> 00:03:58,601 Colonel Hogan? 87 00:03:58,634 --> 00:03:59,701 Now, we got more company. 88 00:03:59,734 --> 00:04:00,567 Stay with it, huh? 89 00:04:00,601 --> 00:04:02,667 Okay. 90 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,534 Sir, Colonel Hogan doesn't like to be disturbed 91 00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:06,968 when he's taking a nap. 92 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,934 Oh, well, I wouldn't dream of disturbing him. 93 00:04:12,701 --> 00:04:14,267 Colonel Hogan! 94 00:04:14,300 --> 00:04:15,734 What is it, Colonel? 95 00:04:15,767 --> 00:04:19,434 You caught me right in the middle of a great dream. 96 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:20,434 The blonde again? 97 00:04:20,467 --> 00:04:21,934 No, redhead this time. 98 00:04:23,601 --> 00:04:25,734 To use an American expression... 99 00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:28,267 While you were asleep at the switch, 100 00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:30,701 I uncovered a fly in the ointment. 101 00:04:30,734 --> 00:04:32,667 What do you say about that? 102 00:04:32,734 --> 00:04:34,968 Well, for one thing, Colonel, you're mixing your metaphors. 103 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,200 Hogan, you know my rules about gambling. 104 00:04:37,234 --> 00:04:39,467 Schultz, I want these men to be punished. 105 00:04:39,501 --> 00:04:42,033 I want you to put them on report immediately. 106 00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:43,501 Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. 107 00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:44,501 Gambling?! 108 00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:45,567 Aw, you must be mistaken. 109 00:04:45,601 --> 00:04:47,067 Were you men gambling? 110 00:04:48,467 --> 00:04:49,467 Gambling? Never. 111 00:04:49,501 --> 00:04:51,400 See? 112 00:04:51,467 --> 00:04:54,133 Uh-huh. What do you call this? 113 00:04:54,167 --> 00:04:55,434 Oh, sir, I think you'll agree with me 114 00:04:55,467 --> 00:04:57,267 that gambling is based on luck 115 00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:59,467 and an element of chance, don't you agree? 116 00:04:59,501 --> 00:05:01,000 Yes. Mm-hmm. 117 00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:03,701 I can guarantee, as a gentleman and an officer, 118 00:05:03,734 --> 00:05:05,467 this game is not gambling. 119 00:05:05,501 --> 00:05:06,667 Hogan, I am no fool. 120 00:05:06,701 --> 00:05:08,767 If this is not gambling, what is it? 121 00:05:08,801 --> 00:05:12,501 We're conducting experiments in ESP. 122 00:05:12,534 --> 00:05:13,801 ESP? 123 00:05:13,834 --> 00:05:15,534 Extrasensory perception. 124 00:05:15,567 --> 00:05:16,968 Hogan... 125 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,434 Well, actually, we're conducting the same kind of experiments 126 00:05:19,467 --> 00:05:20,801 as Professor Otto Von Tillermaan. 127 00:05:20,834 --> 00:05:22,067 Oh, what am I telling you for. 128 00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:23,300 You're probably more familiar 129 00:05:23,334 --> 00:05:24,834 with Von Tillermaan's work than I am. 130 00:05:24,868 --> 00:05:28,801 Well, I... I really haven't read much of his work lately. 131 00:05:28,834 --> 00:05:30,667 He uses the shell game? 132 00:05:30,701 --> 00:05:31,801 That's right. 133 00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:33,567 He proved that the German people 134 00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:36,767 have a higher degree of ESP than any other people. 135 00:05:36,801 --> 00:05:38,567 All your great leaders had it: 136 00:05:38,601 --> 00:05:40,434 Bismarck, Frederick the Great, 137 00:05:40,467 --> 00:05:42,901 um, um... what's-his-name, uh, you know... 138 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,834 Um... 139 00:05:45,868 --> 00:05:47,133 Hitler! 140 00:05:47,167 --> 00:05:48,501 Yeah, yeah, that's the one. 141 00:05:48,534 --> 00:05:49,801 You probably have it, too. 142 00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:51,133 Now that you mention it, 143 00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:54,067 I often get, uh, vibrations... 144 00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:56,634 a kind of intuition. 145 00:05:56,667 --> 00:05:59,501 As you say, a lot of the Germans have the same faculty, yes? 146 00:05:59,534 --> 00:06:01,334 Say, let's see how you do with the shell game. 147 00:06:01,367 --> 00:06:02,467 Newkirk? 148 00:06:02,501 --> 00:06:03,467 Oh, no, no... 149 00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:07,200 Of course, one time won't really prove anything, will it? 150 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:08,400 Have you ever played it before, sir? 151 00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:09,801 No, Newkirk. 152 00:06:09,834 --> 00:06:11,267 Well, just watch the little pill there, sir. 153 00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:12,434 The object, of course, is to try 154 00:06:12,467 --> 00:06:13,434 and find out which one it is. 155 00:06:13,467 --> 00:06:14,567 You see it? 156 00:06:14,601 --> 00:06:16,167 Well, where is it? 157 00:06:19,868 --> 00:06:21,000 Right on the nose! 158 00:06:21,033 --> 00:06:22,767 Try it again, try it again. 159 00:06:22,801 --> 00:06:24,901 I'll do it much faster this time. 160 00:06:24,934 --> 00:06:27,100 Let's keep our eye on it at all times. 161 00:06:27,133 --> 00:06:29,067 Now, we'll have another little try. 162 00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:35,033 This man's in league with the devil. 163 00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:37,701 Professor Von Tillermaan would be proud of you. 164 00:06:37,734 --> 00:06:38,801 Oh, it was nothing. 165 00:06:38,834 --> 00:06:40,334 Let's try a tough one now. 166 00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:42,367 I'll write a number from one to ten, 167 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:43,634 you try to guess it, all right? 168 00:06:46,033 --> 00:06:49,234 The number... is eight. 169 00:06:49,267 --> 00:06:50,534 Eight, all right. 170 00:06:50,567 --> 00:06:52,033 No, no, no, wait, wait. 171 00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:54,200 It is nine. 172 00:06:57,267 --> 00:06:58,701 Hogan, how far off am I? 173 00:06:58,834 --> 00:06:59,868 This is amazing. 174 00:06:59,901 --> 00:07:02,400 It's the greatest thing I've ever seen. 175 00:07:02,434 --> 00:07:03,501 Look at that! 176 00:07:03,534 --> 00:07:04,601 Ah! 177 00:07:04,634 --> 00:07:05,601 I wrote the eight, 178 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:07,667 crossed it out, and wrote the nine. 179 00:07:07,701 --> 00:07:11,601 You have the best ESP I've ever seen. 180 00:07:11,634 --> 00:07:14,033 Well, I can't explain it. 181 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:17,501 Either you've got it or you haven't. 182 00:07:17,534 --> 00:07:19,234 Schultz, what are you doing? 183 00:07:19,267 --> 00:07:21,701 Oh, I put the men on report for gambling. 184 00:07:21,734 --> 00:07:22,767 For gambling? 185 00:07:22,801 --> 00:07:24,267 Schultz, you're an idiot. 186 00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:26,667 Why put these men on report for gambling, 187 00:07:26,701 --> 00:07:29,901 when they are conducting Von Tillermaan's experiments. 188 00:07:29,934 --> 00:07:30,868 At ease, gentlemen. 189 00:07:37,133 --> 00:07:38,734 Hey, we did all right? Eh? 190 00:07:46,501 --> 00:07:47,701 Herr Kommandant... 191 00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:49,968 Wait, Helga. 192 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,000 No... no, no, no, no, no. 193 00:07:52,033 --> 00:07:54,801 You cannot have the afternoon off. 194 00:07:54,834 --> 00:07:57,200 That's what you were going to ask me, wasn't it? 195 00:07:57,234 --> 00:08:00,334 No, I was just going to tell you that Colonel Hogan is here. 196 00:08:00,367 --> 00:08:03,968 Oh... but you did want the afternoon off 197 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,334 at some time, didn't you? 198 00:08:05,367 --> 00:08:06,934 Yes, about two weeks ago. 199 00:08:06,968 --> 00:08:08,434 I thought so. 200 00:08:08,467 --> 00:08:10,567 Don't try to keep any secrets from me. 201 00:08:10,601 --> 00:08:12,767 Now go and send in Colonel Hogan. 202 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,267 Colonel Hogan! 203 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,334 Hogan, what happened? 204 00:08:22,367 --> 00:08:23,834 I just told her a joke. 205 00:08:23,868 --> 00:08:25,167 You did? 206 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,300 I would like to hear it. 207 00:08:26,334 --> 00:08:27,300 You wouldn't like it. 208 00:08:27,334 --> 00:08:28,400 Yes I would. Go on. 209 00:08:28,434 --> 00:08:30,434 All right. 210 00:08:30,467 --> 00:08:32,367 Goebbels and Goring were having lunch one day 211 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,501 with, uh, what's-his-name, uh... 212 00:08:34,534 --> 00:08:35,901 Hitler. 213 00:08:35,934 --> 00:08:36,934 That's the fella. 214 00:08:36,968 --> 00:08:38,434 Goering said, "Fuehrer, do you know 215 00:08:38,467 --> 00:08:40,367 what you'd look like without that mustache?" 216 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,033 Never mind, never mind. 217 00:08:42,067 --> 00:08:43,701 Told you, you wouldn't like it. 218 00:08:43,734 --> 00:08:44,667 You wanted to see me for something? 219 00:08:44,701 --> 00:08:46,234 Yes, Colonel Hogan. 220 00:08:46,267 --> 00:08:47,868 For the next two days, I want you and your men 221 00:08:47,901 --> 00:08:49,133 to be confined to the barracks. 222 00:08:49,167 --> 00:08:51,968 I don't want anyone to leave for any reason whatsoever. 223 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,133 Is that understood? 224 00:08:53,167 --> 00:08:54,167 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 225 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,567 You told me there'd be no punishment. 226 00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:56,934 It's not punishment. 227 00:08:56,968 --> 00:08:58,634 It's for security reason. 228 00:08:58,667 --> 00:09:00,100 Top secret. 229 00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:02,033 Oh, I see. 230 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,400 Never mind about the desk. 231 00:09:03,434 --> 00:09:05,033 There's nothing there of value. 232 00:09:05,067 --> 00:09:06,868 You have a very suspicious nature. 233 00:09:06,901 --> 00:09:09,968 I am too clever for you, Hogan. 234 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:14,634 I also happen to have extrasensory perception. 235 00:09:14,667 --> 00:09:15,734 Yes, I know. 236 00:09:15,767 --> 00:09:18,601 I think I created a Frankenstein. 237 00:09:23,033 --> 00:09:26,000 Helga, you know about the security, top secret business 238 00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,601 for the next couple of days? 239 00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:29,567 Yes, I know, the Kommandant told me. 240 00:09:29,601 --> 00:09:31,067 Good, we wouldn't want anybody 241 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,834 to find out about, uh, well, you know. 242 00:09:32,868 --> 00:09:33,834 No, I don't know. 243 00:09:33,868 --> 00:09:36,100 The Kommandant won't tell anyone what it is. 244 00:09:36,133 --> 00:09:37,367 I see. 245 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,934 What's that? 246 00:09:38,968 --> 00:09:41,334 Oh, it's a book that Kommandant Klink ordered. 247 00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:42,601 Let me see. 248 00:09:42,634 --> 00:09:45,834 Might give us a clue as to what's going on. 249 00:09:45,868 --> 00:09:49,634 Intuition and ESP In Psychology by Von Tillermaan. 250 00:09:49,667 --> 00:09:51,901 There is somebody by that name. 251 00:09:51,934 --> 00:09:52,901 Holy Toledo. 252 00:09:52,934 --> 00:09:54,701 What's the matter? 253 00:09:54,734 --> 00:09:57,601 I just found out I got ESP, too. 254 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:02,367 Find out what was wrong and fix it? 255 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,667 Uh-huh and uh-uh. 256 00:10:03,701 --> 00:10:05,234 What does that mean? 257 00:10:05,267 --> 00:10:07,334 Well, uh-huh, the wires are all burned out, 258 00:10:07,367 --> 00:10:08,634 and uh-uh, I can't fix it 259 00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:10,901 unless I can run a new line to Klink's office. 260 00:10:10,934 --> 00:10:13,501 And we're confined to quarters, so that's out. 261 00:10:13,534 --> 00:10:15,767 Burkhalter is going in to see Klink. 262 00:10:15,801 --> 00:10:18,133 If I could only be in that office. 263 00:10:18,167 --> 00:10:21,634 Or if we could just plant a walkie-talkie in there. 264 00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:22,801 Good idea. 265 00:10:22,834 --> 00:10:24,400 But we can't leave the barracks, 266 00:10:24,434 --> 00:10:26,501 so how are we going put the walkie-talkie? 267 00:10:26,534 --> 00:10:28,267 We don't put. 268 00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:30,868 We have somebody put for us. 269 00:10:30,901 --> 00:10:32,734 This is indeed a great honor 270 00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:35,167 to have you here, General Burkhalter. 271 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:38,667 Let me remind you, Klink, this is not a social visit. 272 00:10:38,701 --> 00:10:40,234 It's official business. 273 00:10:40,267 --> 00:10:42,234 Of course, and may I offer you 274 00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:44,067 some official brandy and a cigar? 275 00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:45,400 Very well. 276 00:10:45,434 --> 00:10:48,601 Have you taken all the security measures I mentioned? 277 00:10:48,634 --> 00:10:49,701 Every one. 278 00:10:49,734 --> 00:10:51,200 There's nothing to worry about. 279 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:54,501 I run a tight camp. 280 00:10:54,534 --> 00:10:57,834 Ah, French brandy. 281 00:10:57,868 --> 00:10:59,334 There is nothing like it. 282 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,000 Yes, sir, but it's much too good for the French. 283 00:11:02,033 --> 00:11:06,367 Well, as I was saying, I have this certain ability 284 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,534 to anticipate trouble, a kind of sixth sense. 285 00:11:09,567 --> 00:11:10,601 ESP. 286 00:11:10,634 --> 00:11:13,968 So, there is nothing to be alarmed about. 287 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,467 I'll be as alarmed as I like. 288 00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:19,601 Yes, sir, whatever gives you pleasure. 289 00:11:19,634 --> 00:11:22,300 Now, how about some Polish sausage, 290 00:11:22,334 --> 00:11:26,033 uh, some Norwegian sardines, some Danish cheese? 291 00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:27,234 Ugh. 292 00:11:27,267 --> 00:11:29,467 I'm sorry. It's a German cigar. 293 00:11:29,501 --> 00:11:32,534 We should have taken Cuba. 294 00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,601 How many K's in Klink, sir? 295 00:11:34,634 --> 00:11:36,133 Two. One on each end. 296 00:11:36,167 --> 00:11:37,634 Here comes Schultz. 297 00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:39,567 He's three minutes early. 298 00:11:39,601 --> 00:11:40,567 Hurry it up, huh? 299 00:11:40,601 --> 00:11:41,567 Right, sir. 300 00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:42,734 There we are; it's finished. 301 00:11:42,767 --> 00:11:43,934 All right, good. 302 00:11:43,968 --> 00:11:45,667 Carter, give me a hand with this thing, huh? 303 00:11:45,701 --> 00:11:46,901 Okay. Let's go, quick. 304 00:11:51,868 --> 00:11:53,501 All right, get that away. 305 00:12:03,334 --> 00:12:05,000 Barracks inspection! 306 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,400 Hey, Carter, smile, will you? 307 00:12:10,434 --> 00:12:13,968 I can't start this thing every day if you don't... 308 00:12:15,367 --> 00:12:16,934 Your mouth was together, remember? 309 00:12:16,968 --> 00:12:19,133 Now, smile. 310 00:12:19,167 --> 00:12:22,868 Someone might be paying for this, I tell you. 311 00:12:27,801 --> 00:12:30,501 You don't want me to do it. 312 00:12:35,167 --> 00:12:37,934 Colonel Hogan, what is this? 313 00:12:37,968 --> 00:12:39,033 I don't know, Schultz. 314 00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:40,033 Never saw it before in my life. 315 00:12:40,067 --> 00:12:41,067 Did you, fellas? 316 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,400 No. Never, sir. 317 00:12:42,434 --> 00:12:45,634 This is Kommandant Klink's briefcase. 318 00:12:45,701 --> 00:12:46,667 It is? 319 00:12:46,701 --> 00:12:48,300 What's he keeping it here for? 320 00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,834 He's not very neat, is he? 321 00:12:49,868 --> 00:12:53,467 Oh, I overlook a lot of things, 322 00:12:53,501 --> 00:12:56,434 but to steal Kommandant Klink's briefcase! 323 00:12:56,467 --> 00:12:58,300 Oh, I have to report this. 324 00:12:58,334 --> 00:12:59,634 Schultz, couldn't you just put it back 325 00:12:59,667 --> 00:13:00,767 in Klink's office and forget it? 326 00:13:00,801 --> 00:13:01,767 No, no, no, no, no, no. 327 00:13:01,801 --> 00:13:03,667 I have to report this at once. 328 00:13:03,701 --> 00:13:05,467 Schultz, can I tell you a story? 329 00:13:05,501 --> 00:13:07,067 What story? LeBeau. 330 00:13:08,868 --> 00:13:10,167 You had a mother, didn't you? 331 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,167 Ja. 332 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,801 Naturally, you loved her. 333 00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:15,467 I loved my mother, too. 334 00:13:15,501 --> 00:13:17,167 She was a widow and she was left 335 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,133 with eight children to take care of. 336 00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:21,133 I was the oldest, so I had to go to work, 337 00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,167 and I was only five at the time. 338 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,033 Every morning, just before sunup, 339 00:13:25,067 --> 00:13:27,501 I'd leave our little home in Beverly Hills, 340 00:13:27,534 --> 00:13:29,868 and I'd deliver the morning papers. 341 00:13:29,901 --> 00:13:32,200 Then I'd rush home with the few pennies I earned, 342 00:13:32,234 --> 00:13:33,834 and put them in my mother's hand. 343 00:13:33,868 --> 00:13:36,667 Then this skinny little five-year-old kid 344 00:13:36,701 --> 00:13:38,567 would go on to his next job, 345 00:13:38,601 --> 00:13:40,734 washing dishes in a restaurant. 346 00:13:40,767 --> 00:13:42,434 With the food they gave me, 347 00:13:42,467 --> 00:13:44,734 I took it home to the other children. 348 00:13:44,767 --> 00:13:48,968 At night, I gave piano lessons and studied watch repairing. 349 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,634 Then came the sad news: the baby, 350 00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:56,334 little Herman... unser Herman... Needed an operation. 351 00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:58,501 We had no money in the house, no food. 352 00:13:58,534 --> 00:13:59,868 We were behind in the rent. 353 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:03,234 Stop it. 354 00:14:03,267 --> 00:14:04,367 Sorry, Schultz. 355 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:08,734 It's all right. 356 00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:10,400 I'm not going to report you. 357 00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:12,767 Thank you, Schultz. 358 00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:17,267 Little Herman. 359 00:14:19,501 --> 00:14:21,334 Did he have the operation? 360 00:14:21,367 --> 00:14:24,734 Yes. Today, Herman walks as well as anyone. 361 00:14:26,501 --> 00:14:28,601 Where did you get the money? 362 00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,234 We took it out of the bank. 363 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,234 I'm glad. 364 00:14:42,534 --> 00:14:43,968 General Burkhalter, I want to know all of the... 365 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,968 Schultz! Please. 366 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,033 No disturbance. 367 00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:48,033 I'm sorry, Herr Kommandant. 368 00:14:48,067 --> 00:14:49,133 We are very busy. Please! 369 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,667 All right, General Burkhalter. 370 00:14:52,701 --> 00:14:54,133 What did you have in mind? 371 00:14:54,167 --> 00:14:55,834 The High Command of the Luftwaffe 372 00:14:55,868 --> 00:14:58,000 will be here tomorrow for a demonstration 373 00:14:58,033 --> 00:14:59,000 of the new aircraft. 374 00:14:59,033 --> 00:15:00,067 Aha! 375 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:03,267 Now, when does this airplane arrive here... 376 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,467 The new aircraft? 377 00:15:04,501 --> 00:15:05,467 This afternoon. 378 00:15:05,501 --> 00:15:07,334 The designer is flying it here himself. 379 00:15:07,367 --> 00:15:10,367 If it does all he claims, 380 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:13,167 it will make a big difference in the course of the war. 381 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,534 We might even win. 382 00:15:14,567 --> 00:15:16,767 General Burkhalter, 383 00:15:16,801 --> 00:15:18,934 I cannot tell you how personally proud I am 384 00:15:18,968 --> 00:15:21,567 that you've selected my camp for this demonstration. 385 00:15:21,601 --> 00:15:23,133 It has nothing to do with you. 386 00:15:23,167 --> 00:15:24,400 Oh. 387 00:15:24,434 --> 00:15:25,767 This camp was picked 388 00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:28,167 because with a top-secret project like this, 389 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,367 we couldn't use a regular airfield. 390 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:34,234 And also, the Luftwaffe High Command feels much safer here. 391 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,067 They do? Yes. 392 00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:38,167 They know the Allies won't bomb 393 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:39,834 a prisoner-of-war camp. 394 00:15:42,033 --> 00:15:43,200 Yes? 395 00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:44,334 Very well. 396 00:15:46,868 --> 00:15:49,033 An airplane is circling for a landing. 397 00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:50,300 That must be Kintzler. 398 00:15:50,334 --> 00:15:51,400 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 399 00:15:53,334 --> 00:15:54,901 Hey, there is a plane circling. 400 00:15:57,968 --> 00:15:59,901 Looks like any other plane to me. 401 00:15:59,934 --> 00:16:02,400 Yeah, I don't see anything different about it. 402 00:16:02,434 --> 00:16:04,033 It's not what you see, it's what you hear. 403 00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:05,400 But I don't hear anything. 404 00:16:05,434 --> 00:16:06,834 That's just it... You don't. 405 00:16:06,868 --> 00:16:08,501 A silent plane. 406 00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:09,634 Uh-huh. 407 00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:10,834 Wow! 408 00:16:10,868 --> 00:16:12,667 It could give the Allies 409 00:16:12,701 --> 00:16:14,000 a lot of grief. 410 00:16:14,033 --> 00:16:16,501 We have a little bomb left from the last bridge. 411 00:16:16,534 --> 00:16:17,834 Why don't I put it under the plane? 412 00:16:17,868 --> 00:16:18,834 Eh, that's no good. 413 00:16:18,868 --> 00:16:21,067 They'd just build another one. 414 00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:22,601 We've got to get this information 415 00:16:22,634 --> 00:16:24,200 to the Allies in London. 416 00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:26,934 Why don't we swipe the plane and fly it to London? 417 00:16:26,968 --> 00:16:28,501 Well, they'd have interceptors up 418 00:16:28,534 --> 00:16:30,434 from every airfield within five minutes. 419 00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:31,767 Hey, Colonel, what if we... 420 00:16:31,801 --> 00:16:32,834 Wait a minute. 421 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,133 Brilliant idea, sir. 422 00:16:48,167 --> 00:16:49,634 You haven't heard it yet. 423 00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:50,667 I like it, too. 424 00:16:50,701 --> 00:16:51,968 Whenever you smile like that, 425 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,501 you've got something good cooking. 426 00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:54,667 When do we go? 427 00:16:54,701 --> 00:16:56,334 No rush. We'll wait till after dark. 428 00:17:11,834 --> 00:17:14,434 ♪ 429 00:17:34,234 --> 00:17:36,601 ♪ 430 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:50,501 Don't make any mistakes 431 00:17:50,534 --> 00:17:52,234 with those measurements, Newkirk. 432 00:17:52,267 --> 00:17:53,234 Won't do the Air Force 433 00:17:53,267 --> 00:17:54,701 any good if they're not accurate. 434 00:17:54,734 --> 00:17:56,334 I'm double-checking everything, sir. 435 00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:57,300 Good. 436 00:17:58,367 --> 00:17:59,300 Here you go. 437 00:18:04,701 --> 00:18:07,667 Well, there's the big secrets of the silent engine. 438 00:18:07,701 --> 00:18:08,834 What is it? 439 00:18:08,868 --> 00:18:12,467 The gas is vaporized in a series of baffle chambers. 440 00:18:12,501 --> 00:18:13,801 What does that do? 441 00:18:13,834 --> 00:18:16,267 It's the same as stuffing your ears with cotton. 442 00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:18,367 I'm surprised you didn't know that, Carter. 443 00:18:24,167 --> 00:18:26,133 Well, my girlfriend says she hasn't got 444 00:18:26,167 --> 00:18:27,367 a recent picture of me. 445 00:18:31,267 --> 00:18:32,767 Herr Kintzler, I cannot tell you 446 00:18:32,801 --> 00:18:34,501 how impressed I am with your plane. 447 00:18:34,534 --> 00:18:35,501 Hah! 448 00:18:35,534 --> 00:18:36,634 I beg your pardon? 449 00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,167 I said "hah"! 450 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,467 I'm sure that the Luftwaffe 451 00:18:39,501 --> 00:18:40,701 will be impressed tomorrow. 452 00:18:40,868 --> 00:18:42,000 They won't. 453 00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,167 They like noise. 454 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,367 They like noise. 455 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,133 That's funny, very funny. 456 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:48,334 It's not funny. 457 00:18:48,367 --> 00:18:50,934 I'm going to bed. 458 00:18:50,968 --> 00:18:54,267 I assume you have set up a strong guard for the plane? 459 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,467 Yes, Herr General. 460 00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:58,000 I've doubled the tower guards, the searchlights. 461 00:18:58,033 --> 00:18:59,467 You can depend on me. 462 00:18:59,501 --> 00:19:02,167 I've seen to it personally. Personally. 463 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,834 In that case, I'd better check it myself. 464 00:19:04,868 --> 00:19:06,467 Oh, I'll go with you, Herr General. 465 00:19:06,501 --> 00:19:08,467 There is nothing to worry about, Herr General. 466 00:19:08,501 --> 00:19:09,701 I gave orders to shoot anyone 467 00:19:09,734 --> 00:19:10,834 who comes near the plane. 468 00:19:10,868 --> 00:19:12,968 Shoot first and ask questions later. 469 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:13,968 That's what I said. 470 00:19:15,801 --> 00:19:17,667 Shoot anyone? 471 00:19:17,701 --> 00:19:18,934 Anyone! 472 00:19:25,834 --> 00:19:27,334 Don't you think you'd better 473 00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:31,467 recall that order before we go near that plane? 474 00:19:31,501 --> 00:19:32,434 What? 475 00:19:37,534 --> 00:19:39,367 Yes, sir! 476 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:40,567 Where does this part go? 477 00:19:40,601 --> 00:19:41,567 Put it anywhere. 478 00:19:41,601 --> 00:19:42,467 You've done jigsaw puzzles. 479 00:19:44,868 --> 00:19:46,767 It doesn't fit. 480 00:19:46,801 --> 00:19:49,634 Yes, it does. 481 00:19:49,667 --> 00:19:50,834 I think you forced it. 482 00:19:50,868 --> 00:19:52,033 It's a German plane. 483 00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:53,267 All it understands is force. 484 00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:54,267 Kinch. Mmm-hmm. 485 00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:55,968 Get those pictures developed. Get them out 486 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,400 through the underground connections 487 00:19:57,434 --> 00:19:58,534 with Newkirk's notes. Right. 488 00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:00,133 Look, the rest of you, let's get this engine 489 00:20:00,167 --> 00:20:01,767 back in the plane before they find it's gone. 490 00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:02,801 Right, Colonel. 491 00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:03,934 We wouldn't want them to think 492 00:20:03,968 --> 00:20:04,934 we're ordinary crooks, huh? 493 00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:09,167 Everything seems to be in order, Herr General. 494 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:12,367 Let me make up my own mind, Klink. 495 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,634 Yes, sir. Of course, I'm a man who takes 496 00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:16,701 his responsibilities very seriously, 497 00:20:16,734 --> 00:20:18,734 and when this plane is in my camp, 498 00:20:18,767 --> 00:20:20,501 it becomes my responsibility. 499 00:20:20,534 --> 00:20:21,701 You are so right. 500 00:20:21,734 --> 00:20:24,033 Now, when you ask me for security, 501 00:20:24,067 --> 00:20:27,267 that's what you'll get... Airtight security. 502 00:20:28,501 --> 00:20:30,400 What did you say, Klink? 503 00:20:30,434 --> 00:20:31,801 Me, me, me, say? 504 00:20:31,834 --> 00:20:33,601 Nothing, what, what would I say? 505 00:20:33,634 --> 00:20:35,133 Klink! 506 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:38,200 Pull yourself together, you're falling apart. 507 00:20:38,234 --> 00:20:41,167 Yes, sir. I will do that right away. 508 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,467 Yes, sir! 509 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,033 Wish I could help you, Colonel. 510 00:20:49,067 --> 00:20:51,200 Hogan, airplane engines don't have 511 00:20:51,234 --> 00:20:53,701 a habit of walking away by themselves. 512 00:20:53,734 --> 00:20:56,367 Well, sometimes they fly away. 513 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,000 When did the, uh, engine disappear? 514 00:20:59,033 --> 00:21:01,133 Now, you know very well when. Today. 515 00:21:01,167 --> 00:21:02,667 Well, then I have a perfect alibi. 516 00:21:02,701 --> 00:21:04,267 We were confined to barracks. 517 00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:06,601 You gave the order yourself. 518 00:21:06,634 --> 00:21:07,601 That's true. 519 00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:08,801 Mm-hmm. 520 00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:10,534 The guards would have seen you come out. 521 00:21:10,567 --> 00:21:12,467 Oh, I'm sorry, Colonel Hogan. 522 00:21:12,501 --> 00:21:15,834 Ah! General Burkhalter! 523 00:21:15,868 --> 00:21:18,167 It's he. He's testing me. 524 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,200 The old ESP is working for you again, sir. 525 00:21:20,234 --> 00:21:21,567 Of course! 526 00:21:21,601 --> 00:21:23,167 He wants to know how resourceful I am. 527 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:24,234 Ah, ha-ha. 528 00:21:24,267 --> 00:21:26,133 All you have to do is figure out 529 00:21:26,167 --> 00:21:29,167 where he hid it, go get it, and you will be a hero. 530 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,167 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 531 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,167 I see it in the bushes... 532 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,467 In the bushes. 533 00:21:32,501 --> 00:21:33,467 Hidden under a tarpaulin. 534 00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:34,467 Under a tarpaulin. 535 00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:35,334 What color is the tarpaulin? 536 00:21:35,367 --> 00:21:36,601 Black. Black, black. 537 00:21:36,634 --> 00:21:37,801 Uh, what about white? 538 00:21:37,834 --> 00:21:39,167 White? White. White. 539 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,167 It's there. 540 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,200 It's there. 541 00:21:41,234 --> 00:21:42,567 I know the spot. You know the spot. 542 00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:47,100 Oh, Hogan, I've found the engine! 543 00:21:47,133 --> 00:21:53,133 I know exactly where it is. 544 00:21:53,167 --> 00:21:57,634 The engine, the engine is... 545 00:21:57,667 --> 00:22:00,067 The engine is right here! 546 00:22:03,067 --> 00:22:04,467 Oh, that's too bad. 547 00:22:04,501 --> 00:22:07,000 Look, let's reconstruct the crime. 548 00:22:07,033 --> 00:22:10,467 Now, where exactly was the engine when it got mislaid. 549 00:22:10,501 --> 00:22:12,133 Where was it?! 550 00:22:12,167 --> 00:22:13,400 Where any engine 551 00:22:13,501 --> 00:22:14,634 is supposed to be! 552 00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:15,634 Right here 553 00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:17,033 in the plane, that's where. 554 00:22:21,167 --> 00:22:23,033 Be kinda crowded in there if we put 555 00:22:23,067 --> 00:22:25,834 another engine in, wouldn't it? 556 00:22:25,868 --> 00:22:28,167 Colonel Hogan, what are you doing here? 557 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:29,634 I gave strict orders 558 00:22:29,667 --> 00:22:31,567 you were to be confined to the barracks. 559 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,467 After years of experimenting, 560 00:22:39,501 --> 00:22:42,734 I have finally developed an absolutely noiseless engine. 561 00:22:42,767 --> 00:22:44,868 What this will mean for the Luftwaffe 562 00:22:44,901 --> 00:22:46,234 you can easily imagine. 563 00:22:46,267 --> 00:22:48,801 It's really quite remarkable, isn't it? 564 00:22:48,834 --> 00:22:53,801 Now, for the first time in history, a noiseless engine. 565 00:22:53,834 --> 00:22:57,501 This engine will put us years ahead of the Allies. 566 00:23:19,634 --> 00:23:21,701 I call that a noiseless engine. 567 00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:23,501 Maybe he's using cheap gas. 568 00:23:23,534 --> 00:23:27,234 By George, I don't think he's got it. 569 00:23:32,901 --> 00:23:36,200 So you call yourself soldiers, eh? 570 00:23:36,234 --> 00:23:38,234 No, sir, we're prisoners of war. 571 00:23:40,567 --> 00:23:41,834 What's up, Colonel? 572 00:23:41,868 --> 00:23:44,167 I called this formation to tell you 573 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,234 that your confinement is over. 574 00:23:46,267 --> 00:23:48,200 We're back on regular schedule. 575 00:23:48,234 --> 00:23:49,200 Good. 576 00:23:49,234 --> 00:23:50,801 Say, I heard that noiseless motor. 577 00:23:50,834 --> 00:23:53,400 I guess it's not really noiseless, if you can hear it. 578 00:23:53,434 --> 00:23:57,133 It was a failure from the start, just as I predicted. 579 00:23:57,167 --> 00:23:59,234 I had a sixth sense about it. 580 00:23:59,267 --> 00:24:00,267 Is that right? 581 00:24:00,300 --> 00:24:01,434 My father had it, too. 582 00:24:01,467 --> 00:24:03,000 You know this Von Tillermaan 583 00:24:03,033 --> 00:24:05,200 has a very interesting theory about ESP 584 00:24:05,234 --> 00:24:07,334 being very strong in certain families. 585 00:24:07,367 --> 00:24:08,634 Is that Von Tillermaan's book? 586 00:24:08,667 --> 00:24:09,801 That's right. Yeah, it must 587 00:24:09,834 --> 00:24:10,801 be a collector's item. 588 00:24:10,834 --> 00:24:12,400 A collector's item? 589 00:24:12,434 --> 00:24:14,100 I imagine it's worth a lot of money right now. 590 00:24:14,133 --> 00:24:15,334 It's probably the only copy left. 591 00:24:15,367 --> 00:24:18,200 Oh, it must be very valuable. 592 00:24:18,234 --> 00:24:20,067 I wonder what makes it so scarce. 593 00:24:20,100 --> 00:24:21,234 Well, the Nazis are burning 594 00:24:21,267 --> 00:24:22,667 all of Von Tillermaan's books in Berlin. 595 00:24:30,067 --> 00:24:32,267 Dismissed!